| Author |
Message |
Nina Springle
Guest
| | Posted on Thursday, August 07, 2003 - 08:08 pm: | |
How does 'family' fit into the very nature of aid work? How do people deal with the issue of children if they are required to move around a lot for their employment? |
Gang Karume
Guest
| | Posted on Friday, August 08, 2003 - 03:37 pm: | |
Dear Nina,
I personally don't see where "family" fits into the very moving nature of aid work. It's most of time a constraint to accept non accompanied positions or to be away from home very often.
On one hand, you need to do it to take care of your family and this is very common in under developped countries where the States do not pay fairly well (some do not pay at all!!!)their qualified workers and only one person in the family works.
On the other hand, in doing it, you start appearing as an stranger in front of your children mainly when they are still very young. When they are growing older, they will develop a sense that education is a matter of the one of the couple who has been staying with them only. The result is that whether he will completely loose his authority on them or you, as an "Outsider" will.
Still, you need to be transparent with the children. Explain clearly what are those constraints that are taking you away from them, promise them that, you will become stable as soon as your financial and professionnal situation allows it, call them as much as you can on phone to make them feel your presence.
If the staying partner has access to e-mail, send them nice messages, attach photographs, do not hesitate to blame those who are poorly performing at school.
In case of birth day, call the one concerned on phone, talk to him when parting with his (her friends).
Organize to send them on vacation during holidays, etc...
All this is just to try to cover what naturally cannot be covered: your physical presence.
family is dad, mum and kids staying together under same shelter. But life has its reality.
Hope this help.
Gang |
Judy Canahuati
Guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2003 - 07:19 pm: | |
Dear Nina,
Clearly if the whole family is moving together frequently there is one dynamic, which certainly can be addressed through family sharing and closeness and frequent family interaction to make up for the lack of ability to build the strong peer relations that young people need to build when they are permanently in a place.
When one or both parents travel alot, there is a a much more complicated dynamic. In attempting to confront these challenges, some of us at CARE thought it would be a good idea to develop a public forum to facilitate the exchange of experiences, ideas, actions and strategies related to the challenges and successes in balancing Work, Family and Diversity.
We will use this discussion forum space to:
· share experiences related to balancing work and family
· exchange ideas on how to deal with challenges related to the full integration of diversity into our work, programs and personal lives
· learn from each other about the really cool policies, initiatives and activities related to protecting our children and our relationships with them as we try to carry forward our programs and work in our respective departments and countries.
· Discuss some of the challenges we have encountered and support each other in finding creative solutions to these challenges.
· Provide feedback to the gender and diversity and Right Based Approach working groups.
· Invite colleagues within CARE and other organizations to share their experiences and ideas.
To log in to the forum, please enter your last name in small caps (eg."canahuati") and the word "care" as password. The Forum is also open to new users and to outsiders. If you want to participate in the forum, click on http://forums.care.org/~wfd and register by clicking on the new user button. This will take you to a form where you will need to enter some basic information to identify yourself in the forum. You can also enter as a guest where you can read the discussions but can't post messages.
Rodolfo will post some basic guidelines to use the forum. If you need any help please send him an email at <siles@care.org>.
This is an open forum, so we welcome your participation and ideas.
Judy
|
pipfisher
Guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2003 - 08:13 pm: | |
Nina,
This is one of the ironies of development work. Projects run most smoothly when people with long term commitment are able to provide cultural and local understanding and stability. But the reality of short term contracts with reluctance to offer accompanied posts means that, just as many aid workers are developing their experience, they find themselves torn between having a "grown up" home life and continuing in their field. Little wonder that so many give up.
My partner and I have complimentary skills, experience and qualifications as a doctor and nurse both with Masters in Community Health and training experience in the developing world. Yet we always find ourselves struggling to convince prospective employers that our solution of job sharing has proved itself workable. This way we we can stay together without one party being unemployed, and, in theory at least, caring for small children would be possible. |
Clare Creo
Guest
| | Posted on Friday, August 22, 2003 - 08:35 pm: | |
It's really good to see a discussion on this..
I think the distinction between development work and emergency aid is important.. as far as development work goes, being with a family can have real advantages in terms of long term commitment, integration in the community, better trust plus for me having a supportive partner around meant less stress, burn out etc. But as Pipfisher says many families are reluctant to accept job shares etc.
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Michael Pate
Member
Username: Michael_pate
Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Friday, August 19, 2005 - 04:58 am: | |
Aid work is my life... and for me, being a 'good' parent took an even higher priority (probably trying to give my children the parenting and being-there attention I wasn't given). I wanted to be involved, teach them everything I could, be involved in their schools, be around to love them, etc, etc, (and basically stay in the US because their mother would never leave).
Because of my inner need to be that kind of parent, I waited (and gave up opportunities) until they were safely old enough to make their way in the world. This means I wasn't fully out into international aid work till being 53.
The message I wish to give here is this... While I was fulfilling the parent role I needed to do, I worked as an aid worker in my community in the highly developed USA. There were lots of the same kinds of people and populations that needed help there...the minorities, the disadvantaged, the poor, the resettling refugees, the illegal immigrants, and the indian tribes.
Though I am now able to influence larger groups of these people, looking back on that previous work gives me the same kind of inner satisfaction that motivates me in this work of providing assistance to those who require it the most. |
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Living in the Field